The Struggle is Real.

The first step towards getting somewhere

is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are.

~J.P.M

So this is it guys. I have found my escape. After more or less 2 and a half years, I am finally deciding to go somewhere. I have secured my piece of cloth that would set me free like Dobby and hopefully I’ll only have to count months before I can really, really, really move on. I know this is legit because I have verified this myself and even though it was ‘too good to be true’, I’m still believing that this is what He planned for me. I am excited and nervous to take my first step out of my home for more than two years but I know that He will never fail me as I go through this new chapter of my life.

For now, I ought to take a 6-week leave at work to focus on this task. I’ve had this before but that doesn’t make things easier. I have to work harder than the last time because my last time wasn’t good enough. After that, let’s see what happens.

But wait, there’s more.

I don’t know how to put these thoughts into words. I’ve been wanting to confide every ounce of my feelings here ever since it happened but I don’t know how without hurting anyone. I can’t leave a single clue about it and yet I want to tell you every little detail and my own thoughts of the matter. The struggle to find words is real. Maybe next time I will.

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Just a bad week, not a bad year.

Do you believe in Karma? I don’t know a lot about it, and I don’t know if I should believe it but this week I think Karma just slapped me hard in the face because I had one of the most awful week and I can’t wait for this week to just pass by and greet the next one with a warm smile hoping it won’t be as bad as the last.

I know I deserve everything that happened to me this week because I did something I know I should not have done. But Karma, or whatever you want to call it, had me at the first day of the week. I got sick and wasn’t able to go to work for two days and had a mini accident the day I got back to work. I became worried afterwards whether or not I should go back to work for the remaining days of the week but my gut feeling got the best of me and nothing bad had happened after that. I accept all those things that happened as punishment for what I did wrong. I won’t say I’m sorry, I know I should be, but I’m guilty as hell.

Now this experience will become my own reminder if ever I found myself on that situation again. I should know better next time I’ll do something funny what Karma can do.

“I know I don’t know you
But I want you so bad
Everyone has a secret
But can they keep it
Oh No they can’t.”

-‘Secret’ x Maroon Five

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2015: The Year That Was

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My 2015 best nine based on my Instagram account (amica_g). You can get yours here.

If I were to rate my 2015, I’d give it a 7/10. Looking back, I don’t remember much of what happened this year. Nothing much has also changed except for my sudden interest in collecting lipstick and learning how to use a liquid eyeliner (all thanks to my co-workers haha!). I’m still the old me (I hope), I still got my old friends and made a few more this year. I think that’s good, right? Did I do well in 2015? I think so. I HOPE so.

Best of my 2015:

The birth of #TeamBundok and Hannah’s Zipline

Galicinao reunion. We were almost complete. This was also my first time to go on a real adventure with my cousins. We went to climb Abang Falls, knowing it has around 20+ waterfalls. You go up and you reach the second level and so on. We only managed to get to the 6th level when we went off the trail and followed a different route instead. It was crazy! Our first ever mountain trek and none of us were prepared (No one had breakfast and we only had one pitcher of water). But we were able to get to the top and the view was breath-taking!

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Also tried the longest Zipline in the North at Hannah’s Resort.

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Out of the country trip with the family at Beijing, China.

See picture above. Our first ever family trip outside the country. We all had fun and we’re planning to have another one this year. Fingers crossed!

4th year Anniversary with my guy.

This will always be a highlight of my year. It’s our anniversary and we always make it extra special and he made sure it was because he got it all planned for us. This year we went to The Mind Museum then ate at some fancy restaurant around the area.

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Church Duties.

I’m a proud Iglesia Ni Cristo (Church of Christ) member and will always be. This is included in my list because this has got to be the best thing that happened not just in 2015 but in my entire life. I will always be thankful for the privilege of serving Him amidst all the trials that happened in our Church this year. I pray for more guidance this year, that may He continue to guide me, my family and loved ones and His whole church so that we can still fulfill our duties and obligations in serving Him.

Baler trip with Friends.

Another first time with friends. A 3-day-2-night- adventure with your best buds is surely something that will make your 2015 a great one. Also, it was my first time to try surfing. I like the experience of making my way back to the shore gliding with the waves. The aftermath pain was all worth it. 🙂

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#TeamBundok: Avis Falls and Overnight at Pagudpud Beach

This happened mid-2015. After our Abang Falls experience, we all decided to make room for more adventures when we go back to Ilocos. Avis Falls was our second conquered Falls in the North. A good 30-60 minute-trek and you’ll find a hidden paradise where you can jump off the cliff and be submerged to its mesmerizing blue-green waters. Too bad I can’t swim. It’d be a great way to fight off my fear of heights. I’ll stick with the ziplines for now, I guess. Then we set our tents and spent a night at Pagudpud beach complete with a bonfire to keep us warm.

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Felix Manalo Movie.

My 2015 Squad Goals achieved with our ever-growing team! Kudos to the whole cast for a superb movie! 🙂12139883_972667702794577_587762786_n

My Guy’s Birthday Salubong.

Now this is also a first time. October 2015. Welcomed my guy’s birthday from the 21st floor with spectacular city lights.12132942_403378733193688_1673988324_n#JuliusAndKeylie Wedding

November 2015. I was once again reminded that there is still enough love in this world by witnessing the wedding of the two members of the team, my cousin, Kuya Chaboy and Ate Keylie.

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Sucie.

I still miss her. Yes, I still do. The pain hasn’t gone away and I don’t think it will. Not in a million years. Not in a lifetime. Read my post about her.

#TeamBundok : Hulugan Falls.

December. Our third falls this year! Wow, what started as an unplanned trip became a habitual adventure. Going off the roads of the North, we were once again mesmerized by what nature can offer. I’ll make a separate post about this, I promise. But here’s the sneak peak of what we discovered. 🙂

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Now, that wasn’t a bad year, was it? This post was suppose to welcome 2016 but I ended up summarizing the last year. It was fun and exciting and I’m hoping for a better one this 2016. Happy New Year everyone! Hope you’re having a great 1/366 of 2016. 🙂

Love,

A.

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No way BUT out.

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I am writing today because I’ve got nothing left to do but stare at the computer for one full hour already. I have been meaning to update this site for weeks now because there have been a lot of things going on around me and in my head and this is the only place I can vent things out without feeling judged.

Update.

The year’s about to end and I’m still stuck to where my career started. A lot had happened and to make the story short, we’ve relocated and guess what, I chose to get stuck with my first family after college. This is one of the reasons why I am feeling the need to write because I am definitely STUCK and I don’t know what to do and where else to go. I tried to go out of the way and failed and when I did, every bit of my confidence went down with it. I felt it and that is why I can’t seem to move on and move forward to the next chapter. I’m freakin’ stuck and I hate it.

I know you may say I’m still young and there are a lot of opportunities for the almost-24-year-old me (mind you, my birthday’s less than 1 month from now), heck it’s not easy being an almost-24-year-old me. People’s expectations are at its peak and there seem to be no room for failure. You feel the pressure because of what you see everyday and you know in your head have you chosen a different path, you may as well end up where everyone is. But who says life’s meant to be easy, right?

So, what now?

This is me saying I need a way out. Simplest and most realistic, for now, is out of here.

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Sucie.

10.21.15 Paalam, Sucy. You are the bravest, mosy sensitive and sweetest ate ever. I love you so much. You will be missed. I sure hope you’re in some kind of dog heaven right now, running free and getting a lot of treats. Please always look after us and Macy. I love you ate. No other ‘ate’ dog will ever replace you. I love you baby ate. 😦

It’s only been two weeks and I still can’t believe that you’re gone. My heart still aches when I see the empty space on your own corner. I still find myself expecting to see you lying at the front door when I come home. I miss rubbing your belly because I know that’s the best thing you love next to food. I miss you baby ate. No right words can express the pain I’m going through right now.

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What am I supposed to do now.

When they forbid you to do things you’ve always wanted to do because they clearly care what others might say if you do it without them.

And yet when you make plans with them they still won’t agree because of too many excuses I’ve stopped thinking and caring.

Seriously, that’s just plain insanity.

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OSH’s Pasta-and-pizza all you can.

Been sick for the past week so I was not able to enjoy the long weekend. I’m still recovering but I at least got to enjoy the last day of it at SM Marikina with my guy yesterday. After some strolling and window shopping we indulged ourselves in The Old Spaghetti House’s pasta-and-pizza all you can promo.

imagePasta choices: Pesto (Upper Left), Alfredo (Upper Right), Vietnamese garlic (Lower Left), Pomodoro (Lower Right)

 

image Pizza choices: five-cheese (Left), Hawaiian (Right), Pepperoni (forgot to take a picture)

All for 200php. You can still avail this promo if it’s pasta you’re only craving for 150php (I think).  Their food was okay, I guess. Not bad for it’s price, and worth the experience. It’s been a while since we had an eat-all-you-can meal.

Promo runs until August 28, from 11am-8pm. 

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